Invent-a-Word

I came across a thread on a message board that caught my eye. Someone had the bright idea of creating words in English that may or may not relate to their life experiences in Korea. I wonder if they'll actually take off and create a kind of ESL slang culture here. Here are the ones that I found to be the most original.

desolatte (v.) - to make lonely, forlorn, or wretched by prohibiting coffee

herode (n.) - the effect of time on a courageous or valiant person

stareanoid (n.) - that feeling that everybody is looking at you, distrust of those who look at you, and the compulsion to get away from anybody who might be looking at you

precrastinate (v.) - to make an early start at delaying something

disingenius (adj.) - insincere in a really clever way

escaloiter (v.) - to step off a moving escalator and then stop immediately in the path of all those behind while looking around (usually with an expression of confusion or vacuousness).


"Idle ESL teachers' hands" are the devil's handiwork.

"36-day Dream"

I wake from my dream
To wake to another dream
Everything unfamiliar
Nothing quite as it seems.

I wake up again
I realize then
Dreams don’t come true
And everything is nothing again.

The fire in my eyes
Extinguished by your absence
Tears doused by flame
Sadness flooded incense.

Words of bitter kindness
Strike deep into me
Silence speaks forgiveness
Set this prisoner free.

6 Years

Well, I've finally had my last class of the semester this week. The semester went by slow at times, but it's hard to believe it's already over. I've learned a lot and worked a lot and have had a lot of fun. But it's not over yet. I still have to calculate final grades. And before that, I still have to finish grading my "Final Exams Made with Malicious Intent". I know which students would definitely do bad and have chosen to grade theirs first because they're easier. Is that mean? Anyways, more to come on that subject later, I'm sure.

So this week I worked out at a gym for the first time in 6 years. Cory, you lazy-ass bum. That's right, the last time I went to an actual gym was back in my junior year of college. Of course I've engaged in other forms of exercise since then, such as snowboarding, mountain biking, and basketball. But after noticing how I've done none of those since coming to Korea, I decided that my now-143lb. welterweight-scrawny-toothpick-arms-mushy-abs-stick-figure-chicken-legs body needed a little kickstart. Especially now that I have time to exercise.

Gym memberships here are as expensive as they are back in California. I mean, $80-120 a month? What, you want me to exercise without my other arm and leg? Being the frugal and wise money manager that I am (i.e. cheapskate), of course I didn't go to one of those gyms. Gyms where everyone dresses UP to work out, like LA or something. No, I'm kicking it at my school, since it's close and, of course, cheap. $20 a month. Yeah boi!! The facilities aren't the greatest, but it's decent and doesn't seem to get too crowded.

I did a couple stretches beforehand, trying to contain my excitement of working out again. I don't want to start out too fast. I headed over to the most venerable of weight lifting exercises, the bench press. Alright, it's been 6 years. I should start on the machine and start small. Also, since I've lost a few pounds, I shouldn't try to bench my own weight. I'll start at 110lbs. I lay down, get under the bar, take a deep breath, and PUSH! Push...harder...nnghhngghh!!! Urgh. Man, it didn't even budge. I've really lost it. That's okay, it's the first time in years, right? Okay, let's do 100 then. PUSH! What the heck?...Okay, fine, 90. PUSH! No?! 80...still NO?!! 70?! Finally I can raise the bar at 70, but only for 7 reps before my muscles give way. Only 70lbs! I can barely bench HALF my own weight! Don't even call me a man! (run away to the locker room in tears)

After sitting on the bench mulling over my apparently significant muscular atrophy, a glimmer of hope suddenly sparked in my mind. I rushed over to the counter and asked in what measurements the weights came in. KILOGRAMS! Of course, this is Korea! Which meant 110 was really 242lbs. and 70 was 154lbs! I'm saved! I'm actually not an emaciated weakling sissy boy! I'm still able to bench my own weight like a man! (but after doing a little happy dance in the middle of the gym, onlookers might have thought otherwise)

Anyways, I'll continue to work out and get back in shape for the rest of this summer. Ah, it feels good.

Note: some sections above were embellished a little for storytelling. Obviously I did not dance around like a pansy in the gym. That kind of thing I keep at home behind locked doors.